Douglas & Jen

A little background:

Douglas grew up in Buffalo, New York - go Bills! He got his Master’s of Science in Information Technology and played volleyball for his college team. He moved to California after realizing he could play beach volleyball outside here all year round. Douglas now works as a software engineer. He is basically a computer whisperer. He’s passionate about learning and video games - both making them and playing them. He loves SciFi, engineering, and takes on DIY home improvement projects like installing solar panels on our house.

Jen grew up in both New York and Wisconsin. Her family moved to Wisconsin when she was 12, and her parents are still there. She’s an Associate Director at a think tank, trying to help the world through research that informs public policy. She also does professional comedy on the side. She’s a producer of a weekly comedy show, a member of three different improv troupes and she wrote and published a book! She lived in Spain for a year and speaks fluent Spanish.

Our people:

Douglas has one brother, Mike, who also lives in Los Angeles. We spend time with him and his long-term girlfriend Annette regularly. Douglas and Mike work together in tech, and Jen and Annette frequently bounce writing ideas off of each other.

Jen has one sister, Anne, who is in the Air Force. She and her husband Chris have two adopted daughters. Despite their living out of state, we see them multiple times per year. Anne did a ton of planning for our wedding and Parker (the older of our two nieces) was our flower girl.

We travel back to Buffalo to see Douglas’s parents (or they come out to L.A.), and we take vacations with Jen’s family at least once per year. Two years ago we went to New Zealand where we saw more sheep than we ever thought imaginable and learned to drive on the wrong side of the road. We always spend Christmas with family outside of Los Angeles so we can see some snow and sit by the fire.

What’s important to us:

Like many people, we care about being happy and spreading love. What’s unique about us is that we’ve each put a lot of effort into learning how to communicate in a healthy manner. When we disagree on something, we talk it out calmly, openly and with love. We continually invest in our own personal growth.

It’s super important to both of us that we teach our child the same skill sets. Any child raised by us will be allowed to express themselves genuinely and with vulnerability. They’ll always know they’re loved and that they can come to us with anything, without judgment.

It is most important to us that our child learns to love themself for exactly who they are and has genuine self-confidence. We are extremely accepting of our friends, family and each other. We will work diligently to ensure our child learns self-acceptance and love.

It’s also important to us that our child learns how to succeed in life. We were both great in school and look forward to helping our child with their homework every night. We’re good at making friends and can teach them social skills. We’re athletic and can teach them how to run fast and throw a football. We’re responsible and driven; we will teach them how to work toward a goal until it’s accomplished. Lastly, a child raised by us will learn how to write great computer code, will wear Star Wars pajamas and will have fantastic comedic timing!

Thanks so much for reading our letter and looking at our photos. We hope they resonated with you, and we know you’ll make the decision that’s best for you.

With love,

Douglas and Jen